Holidays with family, friends, or a partner are supposed to be relaxing, but how often is that the case? Don’t let a falling out with your travelling party overshadow the experience of exploring a new place. Prevent arguing on holiday with our list of tips and advice so you can sit back and relax.
Setting Expectations
The most important step to starting your holiday on the right foot is explicitly communicating your expectations of the trip. What is everyone hoping their holiday will look like? Is it seeing the sights, visiting museums, relaxing on the beach or eating local cuisine? If your expectations are the same – great! Are there areas where everyone is willing to compromise? If not, perhaps you’re not compatible as travel partners.
Most holiday makers, whether aware of it or not, have expectations on how the trip will go. Arguments arise when individuals’ expectations aren’t reasonably met. Another important expectation that, if not discussed, will cause a sore point throughout your entire holiday: money. How much is everyone willing to spend on accommodations, transport, food, experiences? Get these things straightened out before you begin your trip.
Asserting Boundaries
Establish your boundaries to prevent arguing from even arising. For example, being together every moment of the trip may be great for some, but for an introvert, it’s a drain on social battery. If this is the case, voice your need for alone time. If you don’t drink, make this boundary clear. Your travel partner may anticipate the social scene being a large part of your evening. Healthy boundaries help everyone feel respected and understood. If your travel partner has expressed a boundary, it’s important to respect it and not view it as a personal attack.
Must Do or See
By each person picking the most important thing they want to do, visit, see or eat beforehand, they’ll feel like they’ve accomplished their main mission. On bigger group trips, it’s unlikely that everyone will get to do everything they want. By picking one or two priorities each, everyone feels heard.
Divide and Conquer
Like most group projects, holiday planning often means one person takes charge while everyone else is along for the ride. While it can be helpful to have someone keep things on track, one person planning the entire holiday isn’t fair to anyone. The planner will feel taken advantage of, meanwhile the other holidayers will feel their preferences have been overlooked in the itinerary.
Verbalise how you will split up planning details and solidify a “due date”. This may seem over the top for the go-with-the-flow holiday makers, but being more rigid with this aspect of the planning process gives you the freedom to enjoy the holiday when you arrive. Also, during peak travelling months, there is no guarantee that experiences, museums or restaurants will have availability to accommodate walk-ins.
Reflect
Reflect on previous holiday experiences. What was successful, making the trip run smoothly? What caused tension and arguments? Are there ways to implement skills of your successes and learn from past blow-ups? Don’t just reflect on the arguments, but the cause of the arguments. By focusing on this you’ll tackle the core of the problem, not the symptom. Ask “why does something upset me?” Learning from our past is important for growth and deepens understanding of ourselves and others.
Argue Together, Not Against Each Other
Conflict is a normal part of all relationships. Healthy conflict has everything to do with how you communicate an issue. Think of the conflict as you and your holiday partner against the problem, instead of you versus them. The former conflict mindset leads to greater understanding. The latter, however, assigns blame and makes it more difficult for anyone to assume responsibility and find a solution.
If you feel the argument spiralling into a less productive place, take a break. Things said in the heat of the moment are rarely constructive. Go for a solo walk to clear your head and burn off the adrenaline that kicks-in during heated conflict.
Factor in Time
Let’s face it, most conflict arises when you’re running late. Whether heading to the airport, a reservation or an activity, budget in more time than you think necessary to avoid any stress-related argument.
Things Will Go Wrong
High expectations for holidays means a low tolerance for when they inevitably go wrong, even in a small way. Keep in mind that, like life, your holiday will go wrong at some point. This is very normal. Be sure to take it in your stride, acknowledge the frustration it causes and move on. As the old saying goes, don’t let the past ruin your present.
Holiday, Here We Come!
We hope you feel equipped to avoid holiday arguments where possible and how to face them when necessary. Have a fabulous holiday and let us know which tip is most useful by tweeting us!
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